cullen kid's funny summer
by kikitwilight
Summary: the parent's are gone what could 5 vampire's and 1 human get up to.heaps. there will be clubbing,bowling,truth or dare,shopping alice style and what happens when emmett and jasper babysit bella. this is my first fan fiction story it wil be funny
1. yeah parents are gone

BPOV

It was finally summer and Alice had planned for me to stay at the Cullen's house for the 6 weeks. Charlie of course said yes he couldn't say no to Alice.

I was sitting on Edward's lap while jasper and Emmett were playing the Xbox and Rosalie and Alice were reading fashion magazines.

"Kids can we have your attention for a minute please" said Carlisle while him and esme walked down the stairs.

Carlisle and esme stood in front of the tv so we had to look at them.

"Ok so it is summer break and we know you kids want to do stuff together, and please remember that Bella is still human and we don't want her to get hurt"

"Yer unless she trips or falls all by herself and we all know that is going to happen" Emmett said then started laughing.

Trust Emmett to say something like that. I will show him I will not fall at all this summer and then we will see who is laughing, I smiled at that thought and Edward was staring at me

"What is so funny love" Edward said

"Oh nothing" I said

"As I was saying you kids will be doing something together so me and your mother thought we would go away for the holidays" Carlisle said

"Oh cool where you are going" I said

"We are going to –Alice interrupted Carlisle before he could finish

"Omg Mexico that is so cool you guys are going to have so much fun" she said

Of course Alice would know where they were going she is psychic.

"Yes we are going to Mexico and while we are gone we expect you all to keep this place in take, ok Emmett Carlisle said while looking at Emmett.

"Ah what why do you always look at me when you say that im always good it's Edward who always makes the mess"

Everybody cracked up laughing. Yer right like Edward would do something to the house well at least not on purpose.

"Yer shore it was all Edward, Emmett" jasper said sarcastelly


	2. i know what we are going to do first

EPOV (Edward's)

Once they left Emmett was running around the house like an idiot Alice was already planning a shopping trip for Bella and Bella was just starring at everybody probley thinking what have I got myself into.

Oh yes parent's are gone it is time to really have some fun- Emmett

Yes yes yes parents are gone. I need to go shopping I need to buy Bella some new outfits- Alice.

Ahh these emotions just make me want to jump up and down with joy and happiness- jasper

Great parents are gone I bet Emmett will end up smashing the house or getting arrested he usually does- Rosalie

And as always I still could not read Bella's mind. What I would do to know what she is thinking.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Alice squealing.

"I know what we are going to do first" Alice said

"And what would that be" said Bella

"We are going to go BOWLING" said Alice

"Yer but knowing Bella she will probley drop the bowling ball on her foot or drop them all" I growled at Emmett

Bella just looked at me surprised

"Sorry I just don't like him saying stuff like that about you" I said to her. She just smiled and kissed my cheek.

"So it is settled we are going bowling tomorrow yeah it is going to be so much fun. Oh Bella me and Rosalie will do your hair and makeup in the morning" Alice said while running up the stairs

"Oh yeah great can't wait" Bella said sarcastely

Sorry I know there short I was just trying to start it off but I promise the rest of the stories will be longer and better.

Believe me im just getting started.

Please, please review and tell me what you think

Thanks love Kiki


	3. camera's and pink bowling balls

BPOV

I woke up by a screaming Alice at the door

"Let her sleep Alice" said Edward

"No me and rose need to do her hair and makeup for today" said Alice

"Ok im up let me go to the bathroom" I said while getting up

After I went to the bathroom I went to Alice's room for my torture to begin.

"Finally your up quick sit down so we can start" said Alice

Alice did my makeup while rose did my hair. I was really glad me and rose were getting along after the Cullen's came back it was like we were best friends which we are now.

"Ok go and put these on" Alice said while handing me some clothes

Once I was finished getting dressed I looked in the mirror and I was surprised at how good I looked. My hair had been straightened and I was wearing skinny jeans with a black singlet and a grey jacket and flats I looked so good

When I got to the last step I of course tripped. But before I could hit the floor two strong arms caught me

"It's ok I got you love" Edward said and I blushed

"Thanks" I said and kissed his cheek

"Fall down again did we Bella" said Emmett

"Shut up it's not my fault that your stairs hate me" I said while walking over to the lounge and sitting down. Edward took a sit next to me.

"Ok everyone ready to go bowling" Alice said while walking down the stairs with rose right behind her

"Yer" everybody said at once

Alice, jasper, Emmett and Rosalie took the jeep while Edward and I took the Volvo. I was actually happy that we took different cars so at least Edward and I could have some alone time even if it was only for 20 minutes.

Most of the ride was pretty quiet expect for Emmett behind us with the radio on full ball. He was singing I'm a Barbie girl. Everybody was just staring at him.

"Omg" I said to Edward

"I know" said Edward

Before the song could finish we were there thank god I don't think I could listen to Emmett sing anymore.

Once we got a lane and shoes we got ready to play. Emmett was first then Alice, rose, jasper, me then Edward. We had 3 pink balls and two purple balls. When it was Emmett's turn he of course got a strike and started cheering.

"Ha in your face jasper" said Emmett

Everybody had gotten a strike bar me, it was now my turn. I went over and was about to grab a purple ball but instead knocked it off along with all the other balls. And one of the landed on my toe.

Emmett was laughing his head off while I ran after the balls they were going everywhere.

"Hey" some girl said

"What the" some man said

"Sorry" I said over and over again

Once I got all the balls I was bright red I don't think I have ever been so embarrassed in my life.

Everybody was laughing at me.

"I….knew….that…..was…..going to……happen" Emmett said while laughing.

"Edward you're not supposed to be laughing you should be helping me" I said to Edward

"Sorry love it was just so funny" I started to walk away but he grabbed my wrist.

"Im sorry I didn't mean to laugh, forgive me" I smiled and nodded

He then leaned in and kissed me I wanted to deepen the kiss but he pulled away as usually.

"It's ok Bella I got a photo of you" rose said

Suddenly a woman walked over

"Excuse me but did you just take a photo of that girl" the women asked rose

"Yer what's it to you"

"Well I would just like to tell you that it is illegal to take photos of people"

"Yer unless they want it taken or is your friend or family" rose said while standing up im front of the women

"Well I think you should delete it and put your camera away" she said while pointing at Rosalie's camera

"Did you just tell me what to do" rose said

No one tells rose what to do not even Emmett. If you do you will regret it.

"As a matter of fact I did so do it"

"Ok look just because your ugly and you don't like getting your photo done cause you know you might break the camera doesn't mean you can spoil our fun ok so go back and do what ever you were doing and mind your own business ok"

"Go rose" we all said

"You can't speak to me like that you have no right"

"Yer well you have no right sticking your nose in other people's business. SO BACK OFF" and with that she left.

"Can't take pictures of your family ha just because she is ugly" Rosalie mumbled under her breath.

"Nice going rose" I said

"Thanks" she said while flipping her hair

"Ok so where were we" Edward said

"Oh it's my turn" said Emmett

EPOV (Emmett)

"Oh it's my turn" I said and got up

I grabbed a pink ball and rolled it, and then suddenly it broke in half. Dam it must of put to much strength in it.

Behind me I could hear laughter from my family.

All of my family were laughing there heads off.

"Yer laugh all you want you guys just wait you will get it" I said

JPOV

It was my turn now. So I got up and was about to grab a pink ball when suddenly someone took it.

I looked up to see a boy holding the ball that I was going to use.

I just gave stood there and gave him a look.

"Excuse me but that is my ball" I said

"Yer well im using it use a purple one" the boy said

"No you use a purple ball and I'll use the pink ball" I said and started to grab the pink ball but he moved it away.

"I can't use the purple ball my hand will get stuck" he wined

"I hope it does" I mumbled under my breath

I was just going to wait until the ball came back up then I would grab it. I was about to stand in front of were the ball come out but he already had he's hands there.

"Humph" I said and walked back to where my family were sitting

"What's wrong jasper" said Bella

I pointed to the boy and said "that is what's wrong"

"Don't point, it's rude" said Bella

"Yer well it's rude to steal other people's bowling balls" I said

"Wait is that kid stealing our bowling balls" Emmett said

"Yer he keeps stealing our pink ones" I said

"His name is matt" Alice said

"I don't care what his name is he is not going to steal our pink balls" said Emmett

"What should we do" I said

"It's time for a mission" Emmett said while smiling

Please review so I know if you want me to write more

Thanks love kiki


	4. that's my pink ball

EMPOV

"Ok so what's the mission" said jasper

"We are going to make sure our friend matt over there doesn't get the pink balls." I said

"Ooh that is going to work" said Alice

"Ok so let's go" I said

I was up first, I was going to show matt whose pink balls they really were.

I walked over to where the balls come out and put my hands in front off it.

Matt was about to grab the pink ball but I grabbed it before he could.

He just gave me a look and I smiled at him.

"Ha ha sucks to be you" I said

I heard him say what ever and I just laughed. I rolled the ball quickly and got a strike once again. Go me

APOV

Yeah it was my turn finally. I could see this plan working just fine. As soon as Emmett came back I walked up and grabbed the pink ball before matt could.

"Ha I don't think so pal, this ball is mine" I said and rolled the ball, strike yeah. After my turn I walked back to my family.

"This is so much fun" I said while sitting down

EPOV

Go get the pink ball Eddie hurry before matt does – Emmett

I hate when he call's me Eddie

This is so stupid it is just a ball. But I will play something to do – Rosalie

Go Edward hurry – Alice

God ok im going I thought

I walked over and was about to grab the pink ball but matt grabbed it.

Ha ha I got the pink ball – matt

I don't think so I thought

"Hey matt don't freak but there is a spider on your back" I said while pointing to his back.

"WHAT" he screamed and dropped the ball.

He was jumping up and down like an idiot. Everybody was starring at him. I couldn't hold in my laughter any more so I grabbed the ball and rolled it but didn't get a strike because I was not watching what I was doing.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" he screamed

While I walked back to my family who were laughing there heads off. I was reading everybody's thoughts.

What is he doing –someone said

There is nothing on his back I think he is going mental, that would explain was he is always talking to himself – said some lady

Hmmm im hungry I think I might get some donuts – said some man

What an idiot – Rosalie

And then I red matt's and started laughing even harder

Omg there's a spider on my back get it off get it off – matt

"That…was…..so…..funny" jasper managed to say between laughs

JPOV

That was so funny he felt so scared and now he felt embarrassed because everybody was looking out him.

I walked over to where matt was. He was about to grab the ball but I stopped him.

"Ah ah ah I don't think so that's mine" I said while waving my finger in front of him.

He just starred at me so I took that chance and grabbed the ball. Ah strike again.

After my turn I walked back to my family.

RPOV

Ahh finally my turn. I got up and walked over to the bowling balls.

Matt already had the pink bowling ball but I knew a way to get it off him.

"Oh no you didn't just take my pink ball" I said while looking at him

"Um….no…um…this...Um…my…ball" he said

"Um no it isn't" I said

"Ahrr yer it is" he said

"Are you calling me dumb, just because I am blonde doesn't mean im dumb. You're dumb because if my boyfriend hears you say that he will break your legs. So unless you want me to call him HAND OVER THE BALL" I said

"H-h-here y-you g-go" he stuttered and handed me the ball

I grabbed it and rolled it. Yes a strike.

Before I walked away I gave matt a look. He looked really scared.

"Go rose you showed him" said Bella

"I know" I said and flipped my hair

BPOV

"Bella it's your turn" said Alice

"Right" I said and stood up. I was about to walk away before Emmett said something.

"Don't let matt get the ball, were on a roll here"

Right don't let matt get the ball, that shouldn't hard. Right.

I turned back around and went over to matt who already had the pink ball.

"Hey matt" I said

"Finally one of you guys are nice" he said

"No I was just trying to get the ball" I said while smiling

He just looked at me.

"So can I have it" I said

"Umm……no" he said

"What" I said

"I said no do you need me to spell it out for you" he said

How dare he.

"Ha ha no" I said

"Good" he said

"Ok look can I please please have the pink ball" I said

"I said no why don't you use the purple ball it's much better" he said

"No why don't you use the purple ball it goes with your underwear" I said smiling

"How did you know I was wearing purple underwear, can you see it" he said the looked at the back of his pants. What an idiot.

"Well I didn't but I do know" I said and started laughing

"Well laugh all you want but just remember I have the pink ball" he said and I stopped laughing.

"Are you winning" I said

"Im the only one playing" he said while looking at me like im dumb.

"Where are your friends" I said

"There…um…busy" he said

"You mean you don't have any. I wonder why" I said quietly to myself

"What" he said

"Oh nothing. Can I have the pink ball please" I said

"NO" he yelled

"DON'T YELL AT ME"

"I WILL YELL IF I WANT KNOW LEAVE ME ALONE YOU'RE A PAIN IN THE BUTT"

"THAT'S IT" I yelled and jumped on him.

"AHHH GET OFF ME YOUR CRAZY" HE YELLED

I grabbed the pink ball and rolled it. Once I finished my turn I walked past matt and said ha then walked back to my family.

Everybody's mouth was open like an"o"

"Go Bella" said Emmett

I went and sat next to Edward.

"So did I do well" I said

"You did perfect" he said then kissed me

"Look matt is going" said Alice

"Bye matt nice meeting you" said Emmett

MPOV (matt's)

Stupid crazy people. God it's just a ball. I was walking out the door when someone stoped me.

"Hey" said some lady

"Yer" I said

"What's your name?"

"Matt why"

"Well while I was in there I saw you talking to your self and jumping around thinking there was something on your back"

"I was not talking to myself"

"That's what they all say"

"Who Say?"

"Mental people. But it's ok I can hell you" the women grabbed out a card and handed it to me. It had a name of a mental place and a number. The women thought I was crazy.

"I can help you just come with me" she said and started to grab my arm.

"Im not crazy, your crazy for thinking im crazy" I said and started to walk away.

"You don't have to be embarrassed its ok I can help" she called after me

The only help I need is to get away from her.

What a day.

**I hope you guys liked it. Please review an tell me what you think.**

**Love kiki**


	5. were going hunting

**Hey sorry it has been so long since I updated I have been busy and I was sick for a bit. But im fine now and hope you enjoy this** **chapter.**

BPOV

"Matt was so funny" I said

"Yer he was" said Emmett

"Omg bella your hair is going frizzy quick come on we have to fix it" said alice while getting up.

"And how do we do that hmm alice" I said

"With a straightern of course" alice said while digging threw her bag for something.

"Ahh here we are" she said while holding up a straightern

"Alice why do you have a straightern in your bag" I said

"For emergencies like these" she said while pointing to my hair

"And where is the power for this _straighter_" I said while looking around.

"Um…ah….well...Um…I don't know" she said

"Oh there is probably one in the bathroom" said Rosalie

Why could she not keep her mouth shut?

"Oh yes there is one there, come on bella let's go" she said while she and Rosalie grabbed my hands. I turned around and mouthed to Edward 'help me' all he did was look at me like he was sorry and he couldn't do anything because alice always win's.

Once we got in the bathroom Rosalie and alice were looking for a power point.

"So where is this power point you say is in here" I said

"There is only one power point in here and the hand dryer is using it" said Rosalie.

"Oh what a shame guess we will just have to go back" I said while turning around but something cold grabbed my wrist. I turned around to see alice.

"Oh no you don't we are fixing your hair" said alice

"We will just unplug the hand dryer and plug the hair straightern in" said rose

Alice walked over and unplugged the hand dryer and plugged in the straightern.

"There, now come here" she said

I walked over and they started to straighten my hair. Once they were done the unplugged it and plugged in the hand dryer.

"Ok let's go" said Alice

I decided to see if it still worked. I put my hands under and nothing happened. I pushed the button still nothing worked.

"Um guys the hand dryer is not working" I said

They stopped and looked at me.

"Are you sure it should work" rose said

"No it is broken" I said

"Maybe it was already broken" alice said while walking out the door

"No I think we broke it" I said

"Oh well who cares they can fix it, come the guys are probably worried about us" rose said then walked out.

I looked back at the hand dryer then walked out.

Rose and Alice were already there sitting down. Once I got there I sat next to Edward and he put he's arm around my shoulders.

"So who won" I said while looking at the screen

"Alice won" said jasper

I looked at Emmett who looked up set. Everybody else looked fine. After I had something to eat we went home. Once we got back the boys were already playing the Xbox. Boys I will never understand them. I went and laid on the couch and watched the boys play there game. It was so funny when Emmett lost he would have a tantrum and when he won he would do a victory dance.

After awhile I couldn't keep my eye's open so I let my eyes close and then I soon feel asleep.

I woke up to find my self in Edward's room in his bed. Edward of course was lying next to me.

"Hey" he said

"Hey what time is it?" I said

"It is 8:00 im the morning. You feel asleep yesterday and I carried you up here. He said then placed a kiss on my forehand.

"So what are we doing today" I said

"Well we have to go hunting" he said I didn't realise he's eyes were pitch black.

"Who's we?" I said looking at his face

"Alice, Rosalie and me" he said

"So Emmett and jasper are looking after me" I said

"Yer they hunted before Carlisle and esme left, but if you don't want me to go I can stay" he said

"No you have to go, your eyes are black" I said

"I will only be gone for 3 days. So I will be back before you know it" he said

"That's fine, im looking forward to hanging out with my future brothers" I said

"Ok well get up and get dress and come down stairs" he said

"Ok" I said and got up.

I got some clothes and went into the bathroom to have a quick shower. Once I finished I put my clothes on which were skinny jeans with a t-shirt and flats. I then walked down stairs.

"Ok so we will be gone for three days so don't burn down the house, and look after bella she is human" alice said

"Hey it's not our fault when she trips and falls" said Emmett

"You're so funny Emmett" I said sarcastically while laughing

"I know" said Emmett

"I was joking" I said

"Oh, I knew that" he said

"Right, so when are you going" I said

"Ah now. Have fun" said alice

"Oh we will" said Emmett. Great knowing him we will probably end up in jail.

"I will see you in three days. Take care of yourself please" Edward said

"I will try, bye" I said then Edward bent down and kissed me but then he pulled away.

"I love you" said Edward

"I love you too" I said

And then they left. now I was stuck here with jasper and Emmett and who know's what is going to happen.

**Sorry if this chapter wasn't good I promise next chapter will be better and longer. Please review and tell me what you think.**

**And check out got to get her back I am co-writing it with taylorishotterthanrob but before you read it read parental takeover because it is a sequel.**

**And thankyou to all the reviews I got.**

**Love kiara**


	6. the cake

BPOV

God I'm hungry. I was sitting on the couch reading my book while Emmett and jasper where playing video games. Jasper must of felt that I was hungry and quickly stood up.

"I'll make you something to eat Bella" said jasper

"Oh no it's ok I can make my own-"but before I could finish jasper cut in.

"No no no I will make you something, remember we are looking after you" said jasper and then ran to the kitchen. I was really nervous that esme and Carlisle where going to come home to a burnt down house that or there will be food everywhere, either way this is not going to turn out good.

I decide to go and check on him. Once I got to the kitchen I looked at jasper who was looking for something in the cupboard.

"Are you ok jasper" I said

"Ah yer I was just going to make a toasted sandwich for you but I can't seem to find the cheese" he said still looking throw the cupboard. He did know that cheese was supposed to be in the fridge.

"Um jasper the cheese is in the fridge" I said

"What who put it there" he said then went to the fridge and grabbed the cheese.

"It's always been there" I said

"Oh well go and let me make you some lunch, I don't need you to watch my every move. I will be fine" he said and then I got up and went to see what Emmett was doing.

JPOV

Who put's cheese in the fridge, I swear the cheese is always in the cupboard. Ok so I got cheese, ham and tomato that should do it. Wait I think I'm missing something, what am I missing. I looked around the kitchen but I couldn't think of what I needed.

"Hmm" I said

"Oh the bread duh" I said and smacked my hand on my forehead. How could I forget the bread it is the most important bit.

I grabbed the bread and put it all together. God this is so disgusting. How can Bella eat this?

I grabbed the sandwich and put it on the sandwich press.

"Oh I should so make Bella a cake, yes I will make Bella a cake. What flavour tho" hmmm …..Chocolate every human likes chocolate.

I grabbed one of mum's recipes that I saw her use, it looked easy enough. I looked at the recipe to see what I needed.

Chocolate, butter, brown sugar, vanilla extrac, 3 eggs, self-raising flour, cocoa powder and milk.

Ok I don't even know what half these ingredients are. Oh well.

"Ok so I have to preheat the oven" I went over and turned on the oven. Right that wasn't too hard. What next. I picked up the recipe and had a look.

"Place chocolate in a heatproof, microwave-safe bowl. Microwave, uncovered, on MEDIUM for 1 to 2 minutes, stirring every minute with a metal spoon, until almost melted. Stir until smooth. Set aside for 10 minutes to cool." I did what it said

"Ha this is so easy I don't know what Bella was worried for" speaking of Bella, she feels hungry, hmm

"Oh the sandwich" I quickly ran over and got the sandwich out. It's a bit burnt but it's still good.

"Oh Bella your lunch is ready" I said and put the sandwich on a plate and placed it on the bench. Bella walked in looking confused.

"What's wrong Bella" I said as she sat down

BPOV

I walked into the kitchen to see one big mess. Omg what is jasper doing. I sat down and had a look at what I was eating it was a bit burnt but it was ok, I just hope it tastes good.

"What's wrong Bella" jasper said

"Oh um I was just looking around, what are you doing in here" I asked as Emmett came in and took a seat next to me.

"Whoa what happened in here" Emmett said

"I'm making a cake, for Bella" jasper said. He was making a cake for me. This can not turn out good.

"What do you think Bella" jasper said pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Of what" I asked

"Of me making you a cake, but wait not just any cake a chocolate cake" jasper said

"Ohh I don't think any human has ever made a chocolate cake before" Emmett said

"Shut up" jasper said

"Thanks jasper but you don't have to make me a cake" I said

"I know I don't have to, but I want to" jasper said then turned around to have a look at the recipe.

"Ok so I need to add 3 eggs, and then mix it with a beater until fluffy .Hmm I can do that" jasper said

He grabbed 3 eggs and put them in the bowl, but the thing is he didn't crack them. I can tell we are going to be here for awhile.

"Ah jasper you have to actually crack the eggs" I said

"Oh I knew that, I was just testing you to see if you were watching" he said

"Sure you were" Emmett said

Jasper got the eggs out of the bowl and cracked them, tho half of it went on the floor.

"Ok so now I have to beat it" he said and grabbed a beater.

Jasper turned the beater on and the ingredients went everywhere.

"Is this suppose to happen" jasper said while Emmett was cracking up laughing. I ran over to jasper and got covered in cake. I quickly turned the beater of.

"You had it up to high" I said

"Oh well I think it's mixed enough" he said I smiled and nodded.

"Ah man that was funny, look at you guys, you's are covered in cake. Where's the camera when you need it" Emmett said, I looked down and sure enough I was covered in cake and so was jasper it was all in his hair and all over his clothes. It was kind of funny.

"Ok so now I just put it in a pan, then in the oven for 25-30 minutes" jasper said

"Ok well while you do that me and Bella are going to go and hang out in the lounge room" Emmett said

"we are" I said

"yes come on, jasper will be fine" Emmett said

Emmett grabbed my hand and pulled me into the longue room.

"Ok so what are we going to do" I asked Emmett

"Hmm…..oh how about karaoke" he said smiling

"I don't know…." I said

"Oh come on Bella it will be fun, I will pick you a good song" he said as jasper came into the room.

"What do you think jasper" I said

"I'm game, sounds fun" he said

"Ok I will play" I said

"Ok I will go first" Emmett said. He walked over to the TV and picked a song. I nearly fell of the lounge when I found out what it was.

"This one's for you Bella" Emmett said then started singing. And of course he was singing ice ice baby by vanilla ice.

Yo VIP let's kick it

Ice ice baby (x2)  
All right stop collaborate and listen  
Ice is back with my brand new invention  
Something grabs a hold of me tightly  
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly  
Will it ever stop yo I don't know  
Turn off the lights and I'll glow  
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal  
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle  
Dance go rush to the speaker that booms  
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom  
Deadly when I play a dope melody  
Anything less than the best is a felony  
Love it or leave it you better gain weight  
You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play  
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it  
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

CHORUS  
Ice ice baby vanillla (x4)

He started dancing, and when I say dancing I mean the running man

Now that the party is jumping  
With the bass kicked in and the vegas are pumpin'  
Quick to the point to the point no faking  
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon  
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble  
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal  
And a hi-hat with a souped up tempo  
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo  
Rollin' in my 5.0  
With my rag-top down so my hair can blow  
The girlies on standby waving just to say hi  
Did you stop no I just drove by  
Kept on pursuing to the next stop  
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block  
The block was dead  
Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue  
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis  
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis  
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine  
Shay with a guage and Vanilla with a nine  
Reading for the chumps on the wall  
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of eight balls  
Gunshots rang out like a bell  
I grabbed my nine all I heard were shells  
Falling on the concrete real fast  
Jumped in my car slammed on the gas  
Bumpet to bumper the avenue's packed  
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack  
Police on the scene you know what I mean  
They passed me up confronted all the dope fiends  
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it  
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

REPEAT CHORUS

Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet  
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it  
My town that created all the bass sound  
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground  
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill  
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel  
Conducted and formed  
This is a hell of a concept  
We make it hype and you want to step with this  
Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja  
Cut like a razor blade so fast other DJs say damn  
If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram  
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose  
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice  
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it  
Check out the hook while Shay revolves it

Ice ice baby vanilla  
Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla  
Ice ice baby vanilla  
Ice ice baby vanilla ice  
Yo man let's get out of here  
Word to your mother  
Ice ice baby too cold  
Ice ice baby too cold too cold (x2)  
Ice ice baby

By the end of the song me and jasper where cracking up laughing.

"Yer I know I'm good, ok Bella your turn" he said

I picked up the mic and had a look at what I was going to be singing. Omg I was going to sing can't touch this.

Can't Touch This  
Mc Hammer

You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this

My, my, my music hits me so hard  
Makes me say "Oh my Lord"  
Thank you for blessing me  
With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet  
It feels good, when you know you're down  
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown  
And I'm known as such  
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

I told you homeboy (You can't touch this)  
Yeah, that's how we living and you know (You can't touch this)  
Look at my eyes, man (You can't touch this)  
Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (You can't touch this)

Fresh new kicks, advance  
You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance  
So move, outta your seat  
And get a fly girl and catch this beat  
While it's rolling, hold on  
Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on  
Like that, like that  
Cold on a mission so fall them back  
Let 'em know, that you're too much  
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

Yo, I told you (You can't touch this)  
Why you standing there, man? (You can't touch this)  
Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka (You can't touch this)

Give me a song, or rhythm  
Make 'em sweat, that's what I'm giving 'em  
Now, they know  
You talking about the Hammer you talking about a show  
That's hype, and tight  
Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe  
Or a tape, to learn  
What's it gonna take in the 90's to burn  
The charts? Legit  
Either work hard or you might as well quit

That's word because you know...

You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this

Break it down! (Music breaks down) Stop, Hammer time!

Go with the funk, it is said  
That if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead  
So wave your hands in the air  
Bust a few moves, fun your fingers through your hair  
This is it, for a winner  
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner  
Move, slide your rump  
Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump

Yeah... (You can't touch this)  
Look, man (You can't touch this)  
You better get hype, boy, because you know (You can't touch this)  
Ring the bell, school's back in (You can't touch this)

Break it down!Stop, Hammer time!  
You can't touch this )  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this

Break it down! (Nice pants, Hammer) Stop, Hammer time!

Every time you see me  
The Hammer's just so hype  
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic  
Now why would I ever stop doing this?  
With others making records that just don't hit  
I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay  
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"  
And the rest can go and play

You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this

Once I finished jasper and Emmett where laughing. Whatever, I went and gave jasper the mic. Then went and picked a song for what song, oh he will love this. I choose l.o.v.e by nat king cole for him. This was going to be funny.

L is for the way you look at me  
O is for the only one I see  
V is very, very extraordinary  
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you  
Love is more than just a game for two  
Two in love can make it  
Take my heart and please dont break it  
Love was made for me and you

trumpet instrumental

L is for the way you look at me  
O is for the only one I see  
V is very, very extraordinary  
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you  
Love is more than just a game for two  
Two in love can make it  
Take my heart and please dont break it  
Love was made for me and you  
Love was made for me and you  
Love was made for me and you

By the time jasper was finished I was rolling on the floor. I could suddenly smell something burnt.

"Um guys do you smell that" I said

"THE CAKE" jasper yelled then ran into the kitchen. Me and Emmett followed.

Once I entered the kitchen there was smoke coming from the oven.

"My cake" jasper said

Emmett ran out of the room and came back with a fire extinguisher. Emmett pointed it to the oven and foam came out smoke was all gone but we and the kitchen were covered in it to. The kitchen was one big mess.

"Ah look what you did Emmett the kitchen is a mess" jasper said

"Hey you should be thanking me, if not we would be dead and there would be no house" Emmett said

I walked over to get a dish cloth but then slipped and hit my head on the ground. The last thing I heard was someone calling my name before I blacked out.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. Please review and tell me what you think the more reviews I get the quicker I update.**

**kiki**


	7. please read important

Sorry this is not an update. In the last chapter I put Carlisle and esme in it, when they were suppose to be in Mexico. So I changed it so they aren't in it.

So please go back and read wat I changed so u don't get confused.

Sorry again

Love Kiki


	8. we are so dead changed

**A/N this is the same chapter. I just forgot that carlisle and esme were in mexico, and I put them in the story. So I changed it. sorry about this. **

Jpov

"We are so dead" said Emmett

We were looking at Bella, who just slipped and fell. Edward is probably on his way back now once Alice had a vision.

"Maybe we should put her somewhere more…….um clean" I said

I had a look around and saw that the kitchen was a mess, there was food everywhere and the foam from the fire extinguisher didn't help.

"Ok lets put her on the couch", said Emmett

Emmett picked her up and went out to the lounge room.

"Did I mention we are dead" said Emmett

'Yeah" I said

"When will she wake up?" said Emmett

"I have no idea? Maybe we should take her to the hospital" I said

"No she will be fine, she falls everyday" said Emmett

I looked down at Bella and she started to stir.

"Look she's waking up" I said

"Hey Bella how are you feeling" I said

"I feel fine, weird but fine. Ha" Bella said

"Ok…….does your head hurt or anything" I said

She sat up and smiled up at us.

"No I feel fine" she said

"Ok she is acting really weird" said Emmett

"Yer maybe we should take her to the hospital" I said

Bella suddenly jumped up and started screaming "NO"

"No what" Emmett said

"I don't want to go back" she said

"Back where" I said

"I'M NOT MENTAL" she screamed

"We never said you were mental" Emmett said

"If you take me to the hospital they will send me to the mental home" she said

"Why would they do that" I said

"BECAUSE THEY THINK I'M MENTAL" she screamed

"Yer I'm starting to think that too" Emmett said under his breath

"Bella you are not mental………..well at least I don't think so" I said

"I think she hit her head pretty hard when she fell" said Emmett

"Yer maybe we should call Carlisle, he could probably help her" I said

"Why bother, they are probably on there way back now" said Emmett

APOV

I just finished drinking the blood of the elk when I got a vision.

VISION

Bella was running around like she was crazy.

"I think she does need a mental home" said Emmett

"I'M NOT MENTAL" Bella screamed

"Ok someone had oatmeal for breakfast today" said Emmett

"What has oatmeal got to do with anything? " said jasper

"Oh, I want oatmeal" said Bella

"I hear it makes people mental" Emmett said pointing his head at Bella.

"I'M NOT MENTAL" Bella screamed

"Ok, ok your not mental" said jasper

"Ok so what do we do now" said Emmett

Bella started jumping up and down waving her hand about.

"Oh oh I know, I know" she said

"Ok what do you want to do" said jasper

"Let's play hide and go seek" she said

Jasper and Emmett looked at each other.

"Ok you two hide and I will count" said Emmett

END OF VISION

Omg what have they done now. Hmm should I tell Edward or wait until we go home.

"Hey Alice" Rosalie said stepping out from the tree's.

"Hey where's Edward" I said

"Chasing a mountain lion or something, why" said Rosalie

"I had a vision that Bella was a bit crazy, and it has something to do with Emmett and jasper" I said

"Should we tell Edward" Rosalie said

"Tell me what" Edward said stepping out of the bush

"Um…….nothing" I said

"They what" Edward growled

"Rosalie you won't suppose to think it" I said

"Sorry" Rosalie said

"I am going to kill them" Edward said

"I think we should go home and check on her" I said, but Edward was already gone.

"come on lets go" said Rosalie

EMPOV

"Ok Bella what do you want to do" I said

"Lets play hide and go seek" Bella shouted

"Hide and go seek" jasper asked confused

"Yes, you count Emmett, me and jasper will hide" she said

"Ok, go hide" I said

I ran vampire speed out to the shed. Bella was acting really weird. I counted to 60 then went back into the house. When I walked in Bella was standing where we started she had her hands over her eyes. I think Bella does need a mental home.

"Um Bella you know you have to hide, don't you" I said

"if I can't see you, you can't see me" she said

"ok, jasper" I said. No need to shout he would hear me

"yes" jasper said

"bella's acting weird" I said pointing to her

"Bella you know you have to hide" jasper said

Bella was till standing there with her hands over her eyes

"If I can't see you, you can't see me" she said

"Ok let's do something else" I said

"You have to find me first" she said

"But I can see you, your right in front of me" I said

"No you can't" she said

I pretended to look for her. "where are you, I can't find you" I said looking everywhere and then I looked down at Bella and said" oh there you are. I couldn't find you" I said. I feel like I'm talking to a five year old.

She got up smiling at me. "That was pretty hard wasn't it" she said

"Believe me it was not that hard" I said under my breath. Jasper just chuckled

"Oh yer it was, you're just too good for me" I said

"Let's do something else" she said. Where are they? They should off come straight here after Alice had a vision. I'm surprised Edward is not here yet.

JPOV

We are so dead. She is really crazy. Suddenly my phone went started ringing. I didn't bother check to see who was calling me I already knew who it was ,

"hello" I said then I heard a growl, it's Edward who would of guessed.

"what is wrong with bella" he said

"well I was making a cake for her, and food went everywhere. then bella slipped. When she woke up she started acting weird like she belonged in a mental home"

"I'M NOT MENTAL" screamed bella

"she better be ok" Edward said

"Oh yer if you count her running around like a mental person, and acting like she is 5 years old, then yer she's fine" I said

"Where on our way home" Edward said

"When will you guys be home" I said

"Tomorrow arvo hopefully" he said

"Oh ok……….wait what, where are you" I said

"Half way across the country" he said

"WHAT, YOU WENT ACROSS THE COUNTRY" I yelled

"Yes now please don't yell" Edward said

"Sorry. It's just Bella is really crazy, we don't know what to do with her" I said

Edward then growled

"I mean she's fine nothing wrong with her, you must have the wrong number sorry bye" I said then hanged up. That was close I turned around to see Emmett at the door arguing with a lady.

EMPOV

While jasper was on the phone the door bell rang. I went over and opened it to see a lady.

"Hello" she said in her England accent

"Ah hi" I said

"Would you like to buy some Avon?"

"No thanks" I said. I was about to shut the door when she stopped me

"Come on you would look great in this lip gloss" she said and held up a some lip gloss

"Well it looks nice, I might actually buy so- wait what am I doing, I'm a dude. No I don't want any" I said

"Oh well I see you are a guy, but if you quickly run up stairs, put a dress on and that Hannah Montana wig on-

"Wait how did you know that I had a Hannah Montana wig, are you a stalker" I said

"Um no……I just want you to buy some Avon" she said

"I don't want any" I said

"Yes you do" she said

"No I don't" I said

"Yes you do" she said stepping a little closer

"No I don't" I said

"Yes you do" she said

"no.'t" I said slowly

".do" she said just as slowly

"Ok listen here lady, I DO NOT WANT ANY AVON GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD" I yelled at her

"BUY SOME OR ELSE" SHE YELLED AT ME THEN SHE STARTED SHAKING HER FIST AT ME

"Or else what, your going to throw Avon at me" I said next thing I know Avon was been thrown everywhere.

"God lady, I think you need a mental home" I said then closed the door

"Who was that" jasper said

"Some crazy Avon lady" I said

I looked out the window to see her running away screaming" I just wanted some donuts"

"Ok weird" I said

"Yer" jasper said

"So when will they be home" I said

"Edward said hopefully tomorrow" jasper said

"Ohhh free makeup" Bella said grabbing some lip gloss

"Did I mention we are so dead" I said

**Again sorry about this. Hope it didn't confuse you.**

**I will update as soon as I can.**

**Love Kiki **


	9. don't mess with mental people

I am so sorry for the late update I have been busy with school and that. Anyway onto the story I hope you enjoy it.

Ps. I do not own the characters that all goes to Stephanie Myer.

Em pov

After the attack of the Avon lady, we cleaned up all the makeup, tho I think Bella hid some. Bella was still acting like a mental patient, and we didn't know what to do about it. So here we were sitting on the couch bored, me bored I am never bored. Hopefully Edward could help Bella get back to normal.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Bella jumping up and down waving her hand about.

"Oh, I know, I know" she said still jumping up and down

"Ok again what do you want to do" said jasper

"Hmm I don't remember"

"Thank god" jasper said under his breath

"Oh wait I remember" Bella said

"Great" I mumbled

"Ok so again what do u want to do" jasper said

"Let's play duck, duck goose" Bella yelled

"What" jasper and I said at the same time

"I said let's play duck, duck goose" she yelled again

"Um......how about we do something else" jasper said

"NO I WANT TO PLAY DUCK, DUCK GOOSE....please" she said

"Dude don't upset the mental people they go psycho" I whispered in jasper's ear

"Ok, ok we will play........duck, duck goose" jasper said

"I will go first" Bella said

I have no idea how we were suppose to play with 3 people.

So here we were sitting on the floor in a circle, well it really wasn't a circle since it was just me and started to go around the circle.

5 minutes later

"Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck" she kept saying. She has been going around for 5 minutes now.

"Come on Bella, just pick one of us" jasper said

"Duck, duck, duck, duck, goose" she said finally.

Ok she didn't pick me. I looked over at jasper and he was still sitting there. She must have picked him, there is no one else to pick.

"Dude you have to get up" I said

"She didn't pick me"

I looked up to see Bella standing there with her hands on her head. She started to run in a circle. Jasper and I just sat there watching her.

"So when will Edward be back" I said

"Not till tomorrow arvo" jasper said

"Great so what are we going to do now, or better yet, how do we get Bella back to normal" I said

"I have no idea" said jasper

"Oh maybe we could hit her with something, you know knock her out of this mental state" I said getting up

"Um........no I don't think that would be a good idea, I think we should just wait to till Edward gets back" jasper said

"I hope she remembers Edward" I said

"Ok Bella do you want to play a game" jasper said getting her to stop running around in a circle

"year" she said

"ok it's could who am I, ok I will tell you things about the person and you tell me who it is ok, do you understand" jasper said

"ok who has messy bronze hair, loves you, drinks mountain lions, plays the piano and um...........oh loves you wait I already said oh well who is it Bella" jasper said

She stood there with this look on her face, like she was really thinking, come on Bella even I know this. I was brought out of my thoughts by Bella

"oh it's snoopy from snoopy cat-dog chronicles" (my friend came up with that, she is really funny) said Bella

Jasper and I just stared at her. She really is mental.

"um......no it's Edward you know Edward" jasper said

"oh.....year well that was going to be my second choice" she said

"sure it was" I said. Big mistake. Bella suddenly pulls out a frying pan.

"Where did you get that" I said

"Um.....I found it" she said

"You better run man" jasper said

"Arrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I said and started running

"I heard jasper say "don't mess with mental people Emmett"

Again I am soooooooooooooo sorry for taking for ever to update. I have been so busy lately and plus I'm going away on Saturday for 1 or 2 weeks not sure yet. So I will try to update tomorrow if I can, or maybe next week.

Anyway tell what u think. I really like hearing what u think about my story.

And I just want to thank my friend Michaela because half the stuff I put in my story is because of her.

Ps new moon comes out soon I cannot wait. 54 days to go.

Please review

Love kiara


	10. i win

**I am so sorry it took me so long to update. My internet wouldn't work and I had exams this week. I just want to thank everybody who reviewed it means a lot to me. So what you have all been waiting for here is the next chapter of Cullen kid's funny summer. **

**Ps I do not own anything**

J POV

Once Bella was done chasing Emmett around, and she did hit him once or twice I don't know I lost count. We are now sitting on the couch watching Bella make weird faces. Edward hurry up and get home.

"What are you doing" Emmett asked

"What, me" Bella said

"No Santa" he said sarcastically

"Oh well I don't know, why would you ask me what Santa was doing, and they call me the mental one" Bella said

Emmett and I just looked at each other.

"Hey Bella why don't we play chess. You love chess" I said

"I do……..oh right I do" she said then rolled her eyes.

"Ok, come on then" I said getting up

Once we got everything ready I told her how to play, who knows if she was listening. I decided to go first; I moved one of my pieces.

"Ok Bella your turn" I said

"Hmm" she said, she looked liked she was really concentrating.

She suddenly grabbed all her pieces and gave them to me.

"I win" she said

"Um" I said

"See you said I had to get all my pieces on your side, and well there on your side" she said

"She has got a point there man" Emmett said

"Ok, let's do something else and no we are not jumping off cliffs Emmett" I said

"Oh you're fun" Emmett said

"Oh what about"- Bella started to say

"And no Bella we are not going to wrestle pigs…….or cows" I said

"Oh you're fun" said Bella

"I still think hitting her over the head would get her back to normal" Emmett said under his voice so Bella wouldn't hear.

"I think it is time for Bella to go to bed" I said looking at the time which was 10:30 pm

"But I don't want to" Bella wined

"Let's watch a movie" Emmett said

"Yer, I will go pick" Bella said then to put a movie on.

Emmett and I walked back to where Bella was.

"Well at least she knows how to use a TV" Emmett said

"So what are we watching" I said sitting on the couch

"We are watching……..Titanic" Bella said

Emmett and I groaned. We hated these kind of movies.

* * *

An hour and a half later we were up to the bit where the ship was sinking and we were really enjoying it.

* * *

40 minutes later

"I will never let go Jack, I promise" Rose said then she let go and jack went to the bottom of the ocean. If I could cry I would. I looked over to Emmett to see him dry sobbing.

Once the movie was over Bella was already asleep. Please god let her be ok when she wakes up I prayed. I carried her up to Edward's room. Then went back down stairs. Emmett was singing along to 'my heart will go on', what a weird day.

B POV

I woke up to my head hurting. Arhhhh what happened all I remember was going to see if the cake was ok then everything went blank. I got up and went to find Emmett and Jasper.

Once I got down stairs they both stopped what they were doing and came running to me.

"Bella are you ok" Jasper said

"Um besides from my head I'm fine, why what happened" I said

"Well you kind of went a bit mental" Emmett said

"what do you mean a bit mental" I said

"Well you went to the kitchen and the slipped on some cake that was on the floor great going Jasper, anyway then you blacked out then you woke up and said you wanted to play hide and go seek and we were too scared to say no so we did, and you didn't even hide so we said you were mental the you screamed "I'm not mental' and we were like "ok, ok you're not mental" then Edward called and we told him you were acting weird, well we didn't tell him Alice had a vision. Anyway then he said he was on his way home so he should be here today sometime because he was half way across the country. Then came the avon lady she asked if I wanted some lipstick and I said no, then she called me a girl then she threatened me and I was like "what are you going to do throw lipstick at me" then lipstick started to go everywhere and you had fun with that. Um let's see what happened next………you played chess with Jasper but you gave him all your pieces. Then we watched Titanic and no I didn't cry men don't cry though Jasper did" Emmett said in one breath.

Ok by the sounds of that I sounded mental.

"you guys are so dead when Edward gets home"

"We know" said Emmett and Jasper

**Hope you guys enjoyed it. and please review and tell me what you think.**

**Kiara **


	11. prank calls

**I am so sorry that it took me so long to update. These last few weeks have been really busy. And i just turned 15 yay. Omg i saw new moon it was awesome and really funny. So here is what you have all been waiting for, hope you like it.**

**Ps thank you for the reviews and story alerts it means alot to me that you all like it so much.**

B POV

"So when will Edward be home" I said

"Hopefully soon" Jasper said

"Look there is no point sitting here and waiting for Edward to show up, lets have fun while we can" Emmett said

"Ok what do we then" said jasper

Before Emmett could answer the doorbell rang.

"Hmm can't be Edward because he would of banged the door down then ring the bell" said Emmett while standing up and getting the door.

EM POV

I opened the door to see no other then Jacob black arhhhhh can't go a day without some dog coming to our door.

"Can I help you" I said

"Yer i came to see Bella" Jacob said

"oh didn't you get the message Bella and Edward went to Las Vegas to get married then they were going to move there and get jobs, Bella was going to be a stripper and Edward was going to go to India and get a kid and raise him, they want a boy by the way. Then when he was old enough Edward was going to turn him into a vampire and Bella too so they could all rule the world and be one little happy family. Isn't that just great they have their whole life planned out and guess what you aren't in it. So bye bye" I said then was about to close the door when the thing stopped me.

"Listen leech-"he started to say but i interrupted him

"Whoa what is that smell" i said

I looked behind Jacob to see a pile of poo.

"Oh Jacob i thought you were better than that" i said then closed the door. What a douche**( my friend came up with that)**

"Who was that" Bella said

"Oh no one important" i said, jasper knew who it was cause he was trying not to laugh.

"Ok let's make some prank calls" i said and went to grab the phone.

"Um you guys go right ahead, i will stay here and rest my head" Bella said

"Oh no you are doing it to, this is our last time to have some fun" I said

"Ok fine" Bella said

"Bella can go first" I said

B POV

"Why do I have to go first" I said

"Because I said so" Emmett said

"Well if you said so then" I said rolling my eyes

Emmett dialled a number and gave me the phone. I put it on loudspeaker.

(**Bella/**_person on other end)ok__**( i didn't make this prank call up i found it on YouTube. I will put the link on my profile if you want to watch it.)**_

_Hello_

_**Yer hi is this MacDonald **_

_Yes_

**Yer i would like a big Mac 6 nuggets ceaser salad fries and a coke with 6 ice cubes**

_Are you going to come in?_

**No i want it delivered **

_We don't deliver _

**Ok i will come in. How about 7'ish, is that good, tonight**

_Um yer_

**Ok then**

**Um excuse me is the 6 ice cubes going to be a problem **

_Um_

**So if they melt you will give me a free meal**

_Sorry i can't hear you_

**If the ice cubes melt will you give me a free meal?**

_Um_

**Ice cubes you know there ice cubes shaped in cubes**

_Ice cubes_

**Yer ice cubes **

_If they melt we can't give you a free meal sorry_

**If they melt you can't give me a free meal why is that **

_Because, you can get the drink with no ice cubes_

**But then my drink will be warm **

_Or you can get the ice in a different cup_

**Well if i get it in a different cup then how do i get the ice in my other cup**

_We can't give you a free meal_

**Ok can drop the free meal i got that like 10 minutes ago**

**If it's in a different cup, how am i going to get it into my pop cup?**

_Um i don't know _

**ok i want to get my cup off um I'm thinking coffee, then the ice you said have it in a different cup, but i want to put the ice in the coffee, but how do i do that if it's in a different cup**

_In coffee_

**Yer ice in the coffee**

_The ice is going melt _

**Ok can you drop the fact that it is going to melt too like we all got problems ok**

**So how do i get it to one cup to the other cup? Because it's going to be a challenge you know cause we are talking about hot and cold substances**

_Yer you know the cup has a lid on so you know you can just open it and put it in._

**Ok thanks i think i might just eat in, at least then i will have a drink with ice and won't have to worry about getting the ice in my cup. **

After i hanged up we were all rolling on the floor with laughter. Once we settled down Emmett was the first one to speak.

"Damn, i didn't know you were that funny, though when you fall over your feet that is pretty funny" Emmett said

"Did you just say" i said

"Yer that was a compliment" he said

"Really" i said. Emmett just nodded and kept talking

"Ok so i have a plan, Edward is expecting a mental Bella, so since she is back to normal- how i don't know- i was thinking that she could act mental. I know what you are thinking,' oh Emmett that is the best plan i have ever heard off', its ok you don't have to say it" me and jasper just stood there with a what the hell look on our face.

"Yer i think you're the mental one Emmett" jasper said. I nodded in agreement.

"Ok so when Edward comes home Bella will be mental again" Emmett said

"Excuse me" i said

"I said- i cut him off before he could answer

"I heard what you said, what i meant was why" i said

"Cause i want to see Eddie's face" Emmett said, then left

"What just happened" i said

"I have no idea" jasper said, and left also.

**I hope you liked it. Please review and tell me wat you think. And please check out my friends story it is called her choice her pen name is zemyx1995.**

**Thanks love kiki**


	12. ding dong song

**Omg i am so sorry it took me so long to update i went on holidays for three weeks then my mum was in the hospital for a week. I have a baby sister now yay. And one of my best friends just moved and I'm sad i miss her. Thanks to everybody who reviewed and put me on alerts and that it means a lot to me that u like it so much.**

**Ps sorry if there is spelling mistakes, i wrote this really quick and yer. So here u go the next chapter of Cullen kid's funny summer.**

Chapter 11

B POV

They are crazy if they think i am going to pretend to be mental. I am a bad liar. Edward would see right through me. Speaking of Emmett and Jasper where are they. I walked into the lounge room to see the weirdest but funniest thing.

"Ooh u touch my talala, oh my ding ding dong" Emmett and Jasper where singing and dancing to a song, i think. I quickly grabbed my phone and recorded it. Hello YouTube.

"Nice dance moves guys" i said while trying not to laugh

"Oh you're just jealous, because you can't dance like us" Emmett said, while he spun his hips in a circle. I couldn't hold it in anymore; i ended up rolling on the floor in laughter. Once they finished dancing and i finished laughing we sat on the couch.

"Ok so Bella the plan is simple, when Edward gets back which should be soon, you are going to be mental, well you're not really going to be mental you're going to pretend to be mental, unless you really are mental and have been pretending to be normal, when actually you are mental and your suppose to be in a mental home back you broke out and then came here, hmm explain yourself missy" Emmett said

Jasper and i just looked at him like he had three heads.

"Um ok well I'm not mental, i actually think you are, and i will do this plan, but i don't think Edward will believe I'm mental, he always knows when I'm lying" i said

"Yer your got a point there, maybe i should get the frying pan and hit u with it" Emmett said getting up.

"NO" i screamed

"Emmett no frying pan, i think we have already done enough damage" Jasper said

"You mean you're done enough damage, i wasn't the one who decided to bake a cake and make a mess" Emmett smiling.

"Shut up" jasper said

"You shut up" Emmett said

"No you shut up"

"No you shut up"

"No you shut up"

"You"

"You"

"You"

"How about you both shut up" i said

"You shut up" they both said

"Ok must be that time off that month" i said

"What time of the month" Emmett said

Omg i thought

"The time where your suppose to run around like a chicken" i said rolling my eyes.

"Oh ok then" Emmett said then started to run around like a chicken. Jasper was laughing his head off. He stopped when we heard this loud bang and crash. I turned around to see my very angry vampire boyfriend.

"You two are so dead" he said

**K Edward is back wonder wat he will do. Sorry it is short i just wanted to post something for u guys i have a couple ideas for new stories:**

**Been waiting **

**Edward and Bella have been friends since year 1. Bella starts to have feelings for him. She watches him date girl after girl, and get his heart broken. Can they only be friends or can Edward finally see what has been right in front of him this whole time. **

**Is it friendship or secrets? **

**Bella puts an ad in the paper for a pen pal. Alice answers it. Will it turn out to be friendship or a bunch of secrets? **

**Tell wat u think of them. Or if u have any ideas for this story please tell me i love to hear them. **

**Please review they mean a lot to me.**

**$#Kiara#$ **


	13. it all started with a cake

**I really need to start updating more lol. Anyway again sorry it took me so long to update, i have started two new stories, which i probably shouldn't have started till i finished this one, but oh well. So check them out if you want. Anyway here is the next chapter.**

B POV

Omg, i don't know how it's possible but he looks more hot when his angry, wait what am i doing, my angry vampire boyfriend is about to kill his brothers, i should do something. Narr i think i will go and get some popcorn.

"Bella better be ok" Edward said, still standing there.

"Bella's fine" Emmett said looking scared of what Edward might do to him. I could see Jasper trying to calm him down, but that just got a glare in return, and i don't think it is working.

"She's fine, just hit her head, she will be back to normal soon enough" Jasper said. Wait what, back to normal soon; what is he going on about, I'm fine. Oh yer i forgot I'm suppose to pretend to be 'mental', however you do that. I'm a crap actress.

"What happened" Edward said, looking at Emmett.

"Oh i think you know Eddie boy" Emmett said. Edward growled. Next thing i knew Edward was standing in front of me. "Are you ok" Edward said holding my face in his hands. "I'm fine" i said

"What happened" Edward said again.

"Ok well it all started with a cake, and i had nothing to do with it, it was all Jasper's doing, so blame him" Emmett said pointing at Jasper.

"Um yer like Emmett said, it all started with a cake, and it was all Emmett's fault because he wanted to do karaoke, so blame him" Jasper said. Edward was now standing next to me, moving his head back and forth between them. He then turned to me, oh crap.

"Bella, can you tell me what happened" no, i can't remember anything.

"Um well like Emmett and Jasper said it all started with a cake, and I don't remember anything after that so blame Emmett" i said, then looked at Emmett, he just gave me a what the hell look.

"Well it seems that it keeps going back to you Emmett" Edward said, Emmett just stood there with his mouth hanging open. Before he could say anything Rosalie and Alice walked through the door.

"What happened" Alice said, looking between Emmett and Jasper. Someone is going to be in trouble, and i think it will be Emmett.

"Ok let me explain what happened, no one interrupt" everybody just looked at him. "Ok so Bella was hungry, Jasper made her a toasted sandwich, which was burnt. She ate, then Jasper decided to make a cake, stupid idea, he knows he can't cook, but he still did it. Any way while that was cooking, i thought we should do karaoke, which was a great idea. Let's see after that, we could smell smoke, then Jasper said and i quote 'the cake' then Jasper ran into the kitchen, and well the cake was indeed burnt, great going Jasper. Anyway what happened after that, well the oven was on fire, so i being the smart one got the fire extinguisher. And it went everywhere, but hey i got rid of the fire. Then Bella slipped on something and hit her head" Edward looked like he was about to kill them, he was about to say something, but Emmett interrupted "hang on I'm not done, anyway Bella woke up, i think an hour later. We think she hit her head pretty hard, because she woke up a bit mental, she was screaming 'I'm not mental' and we were like 'we didn't say you were', Jasper thought we should of took her to the hospital, but she didn't want to go, so instead we played hide and go seek, and Bella was not very good at it. Then this Avon lady come to the door, she called me a girl, like hello do i look like a girl, anyway she got really angry and started to throw lipstick at us, so not cool. Then what happened, oh yer Bella then wanted to play duck duck goose, and she sucked at that too. Then i thought we should hit her with something like a frying pan, but that ended in Bella chasing me. Then i think we played chess, and Bella didn't know how to play, so again she sucked. Then she went to sleep and woke up fine, but she doesn't remember being mental, weird" Emmett said.

Everybody had the same look on their face, mouth hanging wide open. The Rosalie spoke up "No seriously what happened"

"That's what happened, come on I'm not that good at making stories up" Emmett said.

"Yer that's what happened" Jasper said. Everybody then looked at me.

"Um ok this isn't uncomfortable" i mumbled, yet they still kept staring at me.

"Look i don't remember anything; i slipped, and then woke up fine. Whatever happened in between, i had no control over, so blame one of those" i said pointing to Jasper and Emmett, they just pointed at each other.

"Never again, will you two look after my Bella" Edward said. Emmett and Jasper looked sad. Awwwww

"Ok look let's just forget about it, it's over, I'm fine, no harm done ok" i said

"It's not about that, it's about what could of happened" Edward said

"Oh who cares, we will come to that next time" i said

"Next time" Edward, Alice and Rosalie said at the same time.

"Ok so now, that's all right, what about the kitchen" Jasper said

"What about the kitchen" Edward, Alice and Rosalie said at the same time again.

"Well let's just say, it's not really a kitchen any more" Emmett said running out the front door, which wasn't a door anymore, with Jasper right behind him.

"We are so dead" i said

**Ok so i hope you liked it. Again sorry for the late update again, i have had writers block, i hate when i get that, and sorry if it's short. Check out my new stories. And please review i love to know what you think.**

**Kiara **


	14. its purple

**Thankyou everyone who reviewed and put me on favourite story and that alert. Means so much to me.**

B POV

"Yeah your right, we are dead" Alice said looking around the kitchen, which isn't really a kitchen anymore.

"Did you have a vision of us getting killed" I asked

"Oh I don't need a vision to know what's going to happen" Alice said, looking around the kitchen. Emmett and Jasper are still not back, their probably hunting.

"I thought there was an oven" Rosalie said, looking around.

"You do, you just can't see it cause of all that white stuff' I said pointing to the oven that you couldn't see cause of the fire extinguisher.

"Oh, I'm guessing Emmett had something to do with it" Rosalie said, I just nodded my head.

"Ok well I guess we better clean this up" Alice said

So that's what we did for 3 hours, cleaned the whole kitchen. When Emmett and Jasper got back, Alice sent them to get a new oven but didn't trust them so she went to.

"Are you ok" Edward asked the hundredth time today.

"Yes, im fine Edward" I said

"Never again will I leave you with them" Edward said

"Edward it was fun, you know me I fall all the time" I said

"I know, but im always there to catch you" Edward said kissing my forehead

"Well you're here now" I said smiling

"WERE BACK" I heard Emmett yell

"Did you get a oven" Edward asked

"Yes we did, but it's not the same one, its close though" Jasper said

"Yer well, lets hope Esme doesn't notice" I said. Emmett then ran out and got it.

"Ok here it is" Emmett said opening it.

"WHAT THE HELL" Alice yelled

"Esme is definitely going to notice" I said

"What you said get the one on the left so I did" Emmett said

"My left not your left, this ones purple" Alice said, it was indeed purple.

"Oh well, she wont notice" Emmett said

"Noooooooo, she won't notice a purple oven in the kitchen instead of her special one from Italy" Alice said. Wow she got it from Italy.

"That's it im going back to get the other one, and your staying here, come on Jasper" Alice said, and Jasper followed.

Wow an oven from Italy. I wonder if the Volturi have an oven.

**Omg I know it is short, but I have 7 assignments to do and I have to study for a maths test. So I quickly typed this. And sorry if its crap, I have a bad writers block and have no idea wat to write, so if u have any ideas please let me know.**

**Kiara. **

**Please review**


	15. how did this happen part 1

**Omg i am so sorry it took me months to update, I've been on holidays and I'm back at school and ughhhhh. Anyway thankyou everyone who reviewed means so much to me. Lol**

_Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending-Maria Robinson_

B POV

"How did this happen" i said looking around

"I blame you" Emmett said. He was sitting on the ground with his arms crossed, like a five year old who didn't get there way.

"Well if you didn't suggest we come outside to see nothing, we wouldn't be in this mess" i said

"Look let's just wait till everyone else comes back" Emmett said

"They could be hours" i said.

"Well we are just going to have to wait" Emmett said

2 HOURS EARLYIER

"Ok we are going shopping people" Alice said

"You know what Alice, as much fun as that sounds, im just going to stay here" i said, sitting down on the couch.

"Yer me too" Edward said, sitting next to me. Alice was suddenly in front of him.

"Oh no you don't, you, Jasper, Rosalie are coming" Alice said still standing there, with that look in her eyes that made me move away from her slowly.

"What no, i only just got back, i want to spend time with Bella, and there is no way i am leaving her with Emmett" He said pointing at Emmett who looked like he had no idea what is going on.

"It's been four days, Edward, i think you can survive a day without her" Alice said

"Go Edward i will be fine, im a big girl" i said

"Yer well im thinking more of your safety, you know with your clumsiness" he said.

"Emmett's here" i said, Edward looked at me, and then Emmett for a sec then turned back to Alice.

"Look Bella will be fine, just go all ready, the quicker you go, the quicker you get back to Bella" Emmett said basically pushing them out the door. Edward came over to me and kissed me. "Call me, if anything happens, or if you want me to come home, ok" "ok" i said, giving him a chaste kiss, and pushed him out the door, well tried.

"If anything happens, you are dead" Edward said

"Yeah, yeah" Emmett said closing the door, mumbling stuff, like overprotective vampire.

"so what are we going to do" i said

"you know Alice let you of pretty easy, usually she would give u a face and beg" Emmett said

"Yer weird, so what are we going to do" i asked again

"Yer it is weird" Emmett said

"So again what are-i started but was cut of by Emmett screaming

"ARRHHHHHHHH BUGGGGGGGGGGGG" he screamed then ran out the door, me following.

SLAM

"God Emmett you're a vampire and your scared of a bug" i said

"No" he said walking back to the door. He wiggled the door knob, but it never opened.

"What's wrong" i said

"Ummm the door is umm kinda locked" Emmett said

"You mean, we're locked outside" i said, Emmett nodded.

Great just great

**Ok im going to leave it there and i will update the next part tomoz, cause im to tired to write anymore. And i know its short and crap, i just wanted to give you something. And again sorry it took so long.**

**So review even though it was crap, and probably not worth reviewing lol**

**And read my friends story, it's called **_**her choice**_**, really funny.**

**Love kiki**


	16. how did this happen part 2

**Ok im sorry i said i would update like last week, but i had school and other crap i had to do, so yer sorry, anyway here is the next part, i hope you enjoy. And this really did happen to me and my friend Michaela. Lol**

_**Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take your breath away,**_

B POV

"You're a vampire, knock the door down" i said

"Esme will kill me" Emmett said

"I will kill you" i said. We have been out here for 10 minutes now.

"Ok look don't worry, Alice and that will be home soon all we have to do is wait" Emmett said

"Don't worry, its Alice we're talking about we could be here for days" i said looking around

"That's why she left without a fight; she knew this was going to happen." Emmett said.

"Ok that doesn't matter at the moment, what matters is how are we going to get inside, since you know you won't knock down the door." I said

"Omg we're locked out, we can't get inside" he said looking alarm

"You don't say" i said

"Did you know that Bella, That we're locked out side, and that we can't get in, without braking the door, which we can't do cause Esme will kill us" Emmett said, where has he been for the last 15 minutes.

"No i didn't know that Emmett, thankyou captain obvious" i said

"Ok, well i will be right back" Emmett said walking away. God where is he going. Only seconds later he came back with two chairs.

"Why have you got chairs" i asked

"So you can climb over the fence duh" he said going and putting the chairs in front of the fence.

"You're a vampire, you can jump, or climb, or better yet knock the door down" i said

"Don't you know what today is" he said, with his hands on his hips.

"Wednesday" i said

Nooooooooooooooo, it's pretend you're human day" he said

"Wow i didn't know they made a day for that, you know since we are all humans" i said

"They don't, i made it up. How good am i" Emmett said

"You're just that good" i said walking over to the fence.

"Ok,so you're going to get on the chairs, then jump over the fence, then go around the back and unlock the door, then let me in" Emmett said. He has got to be kidding me. There is no way i can jump over this fence and these chairs stacked on top of each other don't look stable.

"Umm you know what, as much as i would love to do that, cause that plan is just .... Wow. I think you should do it" i said backing away from the fence.

"No you can do it, I've done it so many times, i have lost count haha" he said. He then pointed at the chairs. I shook my head; there was no way in hell that i was climbing those chairs, and over the fence.

"Come on B" he said, i again shook my head

"Fine, how else are we going to get inside?"

"The other fence" i said. We went around to the other side of the house to the other fence. I went over to it and pushed it but it wouldn't open.

"Its locked" i said looking around. I couldn't reach the lock with my hand, so i looked for a stick. Emmett suddenly ran back around the house, human speed. He came back with a hose.

"Why have you got a hose" i asked

"So we can open the gate" he said. He went over and put the hose through, but still couldn't open it, go figure.

"Im going to go and try the front door again" i said and went back to the front. Hmmmm, ohhh i have a bobby pin. I got it out of my hair, and tried to prick the lock like dean and Sam from supernatural **( me and my friend love that show lol) **. but it didn't work. I screamed and jumped when i heard someone. It was Emmett

"Hey Bella, look i got through" he said. I looked and saw he was behind the fence.

"How did you get through" i asked.

"Oh i used my hand, and unlocked it. Anyway the back door is locked" he said. I quickly ran around the back, and tried to open the door. But it was too locked. Damn.

Suddenly Emmett appeared with a hammer.

"What are you doing with those" i said

"Im going to bang the doorknob and see if it will open" he said

"Ok that is not going to- i started to say but was cut off by Emmett who started to bang on the door knob. It didn't work.

"Guess where going to have to wait for Alice" He said. I walked back around the front, Emmett followed. I saw a little window at the front. Maybe it opens. I went over and lifted it up, it was heavy but it opened.

"Omg look, the window opens" i said

"Omg, quick climb through" he said

"What" i said stopping what i am doing.

"Well im to big, so you're going to have to" he said.

"Who's going to hold the window up" i said, someone had to hold the window or it will fall down.

"I will" he said, i looked around and saw no one. I guess he will do.

"Please do not drop it on me" i pleaded

"I won't, now hurry up before someone drives past and thinks were breaking in or something" he said holding the window. I put my head through, i hope i fit. It's a pretty small window. Anyway i put my head through, then i put my hands on the fall and wiggled my way through, i just had to get my legs through, which were stuck, Emmett dropped the window god dammit. All i could hear was him laughing his head off.

"Hold the window" i yelled

"Hahahahahahahaha ohhhhhhhh sorry" he said, yer i bet he is sorry. I finally got my legs through, and fell on the ground with a bang; i went around to the front door and unlocked it. Emmett came through still laughing. I couldn't help but laugh to. Because if you think about it, it was kind of funny.

Half an hour later everybody came back home.

"Hey guys" Jasper said

"Hey" Emmett and i said

"Bella are you ok" Edward said coming and sitting next to me on the couch.

"Im fine" i said "we had fun didn't we Emmett"

"Oh yer, we should do it again" he said

"So it was a good day" Alice said, with a smirk on her face.

"You knew that was going to happen didn't you" i said

"Duh that's why i let you stay here, i needed some comedy" Alice said

Emmett then started to tell everybody else what happened.

If i think about it. It was kind of fun.

**Ok everything that happened in this chapter really did happen to me and my friend Michaela, it was so funny lol**

**So please review, it means the world to me hehe**

**And thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapters**

**Love kiki**


	17. Baby blues

Heey guys just want to let you know i have started two new stories there called undercover haters and Tears of an angel, so if u want have a look at them.

BPOV

"Im bored" Emmett said

"You have said that 15 times now, and i have been counting" Jasper said.

We were in the lounge room, just sitting. Jasper was upside down on the couch with Alice in the same position next to him. Emmett and Rosalie were on the love seat, and Edward and i are on the floor laying. For the last 15 minutes Emmett has been saying he is bored.

"Were all bored" Alice said

Suddenly Emmett got up and started jumping up and down.

"I know what we can do" he said

"Ok stop jumping and tell us your idea" Edward said. Emmett stopped.

"Ok let's got to the fair" he said

"Yeah we should go to the fair" Jasper said, getting up and walking to the front door. We got up and followed.

Once we got there Emmett ran off. Edward and i just looked around until i found a rollercoaster. He didn't really want to go on, but i used the puppy dog face and he gave in.

EMPOV

What do i go on first?

Bumper cars first i think. I ran over to them and found a blue one, that's my colour. I was about to get in but found a baby in there, i looked around for the mum, but saw everyone sitting down ready to go. I put the baby on the pedal, and went over to the guy, but he kept moving around. Suddenly the cars started moving, damn. I looked around and couldn't find my car, with the random baby in it. The guy was giving me weird looks. I finally found it, and ran over, i quickly jumped on it, and tried to steer it. Suddenly it stopped. I got off and saw the guy coming towards me, time to go, i grabbed the baby and ran. Where is Rosalie, or Bella. I could give the baby to them. I went over to a game stand; you had to throw the darts and try to get the cards. But first i need to put this baby somewhere.

I looked around and found a pram with nothing in it. Hmm, i grabbed it and put the baby in it. The baby doesn't have a name, i should name it. Wait is it a girl or boy. Oh well. I went back over to the game. The guy gave me three darts, and i of course won.

"Oh yeah i won, now what's my price" i said looking around. The guy hands me a fish, in a bag full of water. A fish what kind prize is that, what happened to all the soft toys.

"Oh come on" i said, the bag was leaking. What do i do with the fish. I looked around and couldn't find a tap, so i did the only thing that came to mind i put the fish in my mouth. But i didn't swallow it. I started to push the pram. People were giving me weird looks, come on who hasn't put a fish in their mouth, it feels weird hehe. I baby started to cry. What do i do. Ok first i have to find a home for this fish. I kept walking around, the rides look like a lot of fun, i found a bowl with another fish in it, and so I put it in there, the guy that was at the stall just started so I gave him a look back. **(A.N Mr Bean lol)**

"Waaaaa waaaaaaa" what is that annoying sound, i looked around, oh right the baby.

"Hey that's my kid" some random person said, i turned around. Shit, it was the guy from the bumper cars, that's why the baby was in the car. He should have been looking after it better. I left the baby where it is and i ran. Until i bumped into someone.

"Edward thank god, you won't believe what i have been through" i said

Everybody was there just looking at me like i was crazy.

"Where have you been, we have been looking for you for ages" Rosalie said

"Yeah, we're leaving now" Alice said

"B-u-u-t, i had to look after a baby, and help a fish, and i won a game" i said

"Yeah right Emmett, like you could look after a baby" Jasper said, they started to walk back to the cars.

I didn't even get to go on the rides.

**Hope you guys like it, i got the idea of Mr bean, lol**

**Anyway please review and read my new stories hehe**

**Love Kiki**


	18. Bella's cooking class

**Hope you like**

BPOV

"I have an idea" Alice said turning the TV off"

"Hey now, come on, we were watching that" Emmett said

"You live" Alice said

"Ok so the idea" Rose said

"Huh, oh right the idea. I thought since Bella is human, and she needs to eat, that she could teach us how to cook" she said

"Ha ha, funny Alice, but no i don't think so" i said

"Why not, what if we want to make you something to eat" Alice said

"Please don't, the kitchen has already had damage to it, let's not make it worse" i said

"Come on, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee" Alice said. Emmett suddenly jumped up and sat in front of me doing the same thing as Alice.

"Yer come on Bella pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee" He said

"Ok fine, cooking class starts in 5, bring a pen and notebook. I got up and walked to the kitchen. What should i make, pizza, simple and easy. I got all the ingredients ready. Alice walked in and gave me an apron.

"I saw you doing this" she said then walked around to the bench to sit. Everyone else came in; Alice gave them an apron to.

"Ok so i am going to teach you guys how to make a pizza" i said

"Ok you can make your own dough or buy it, i bought mine. Once you have your dough you get your tomato sauce and spread it around the pizza" Emmett put his hand up.

"Yes Emmett" i said

"Does it have to be tomato" he said

"No it can be any kind of sauce you want"

"Oh well i don't want any" right he was a vampire. Before i could say any more, Emmett started to talk again.

"What kind of sauces is there" he said

"All different ones, and i will tell you about them later"

"Ok so once we put the sauce on, we grab some ham and put it all over the pizza base" Before i could do and say anything more, Emmett put his hand up again.

"Does the ham have to go next, or can we put something before it"

"No it doesn't matter what order you put it in" i said, i waited to see if he was going to say anything else before i continued.

"Ok next put some salami or pepperoni on, and then some tomatoes, mushrooms, then cover it all with cheese"

"Put the pizza in the oven, for half an hour, then when finished or when timers go off, Jasper, we get it out before it burns, Jasper" i said

"Yer Jasper, use a timer next time" Emmett said. Before Jasper could say anything the door bell rang.

Alice got up to answer it.

APOV

I opened the door to see an old lady standing there.

"Hi" i said

"Hello I'm looking for a guy, his tall, big" she said

"Oh you're probably talking about Emmett, hang on i will get him" i said and went back inside to get him.

EMPOV

"It's for you" Alice said coming back.

'Yay it's for me, i told you guys i had friends" i said and walked to the front door.

"Omg" i said

"Remember me"

**Ok so i hope you guys enjoyed it, sorry it took me forever to update, i just couldn't think what to write, and yer. Sorry if it wasn't good.**

**Please review**

**kiki**


	19. truth or dare with the cullen's

Ok so it's been awhile, but I have school, I had heaps of assignments and all that so sorry. It's a long chapter this time loll. Anyway I hope you enjoy.

EMPOV

"Umm, Yer kind of" I said.

"Well let me refresh your memory. Suddenly 3 women come out, with baskets. Lipstick and makeup was going everywhere.

"That's what you get for not buying any Avon" said the Avon lady.

"Ok, Ok. I'll buy some, just stop" they stopped.

"Well thankyou sir, you are so very kind" said the Avon lady.

"Oh please you're the nice one" I said. This woman is crazy.

"That will be hundred and fifty" she said

"WHAT, FOR SOME LIPSTICK" I yelled. She glared at me.

"I mean, do you take check" said.

10 minutes later I walked back into the house. With 25 bags full of Avon stuff.

"Wow, Emmett I didn't know you wore lipstick" Jasper said looking in my bags.

"Well there's always room for change" I said. I dropped my bags.

BPOV

"Ok it's time to have some fun" Emmett said

"Oh, I thought we were having fun" Jasper said

We were all sitting at the dining table; it went Emmett, Rosalie to his left than Jasper, Alice, me then Edward.

"Yeah but imp talking about some real fun" Emmett said

"You're fun, could mean anything, like getting in trouble" Edward said

"Aww, is poor Eddie scared of getting in trouble" Emmett said. Edward took my hand.

"I'm not scared why would I be scared, I'm a vampire remember" he said

"Sometimes I wonder about you Eddie" Emmett said

"Don't call me Eddie" Edward said through his teeth

"Ok...Eddie" Emmett said

"Ok enough" Alice said. Thankyou

"Emmett wants to play truth or dare" Edward said

"Hell yeah. Who's in" Emmett said

"I'm in" Alice said

"Me too" Jasper said

"Ok" Rosalie said

"Sure" Edward said

Ugh I hate this game; I always end up embarrassing myself. Everyone was looking at me.

"Come on Bella" Emmett said

"Fine" I said. I'm going to regret this.

5 minutes later we were seated on the floor in the lounge room in a circle

"Ok I'll go first" Alice said

"Uh Nah, I picked the game so I go first" Emmett said

"Fine" Alice said

"Yay, ok ummm Jasper, truth or dare" Emmett said

"With you asking truth" Jasper said

"Ohhh you're no fun" Emmett said

"Yeah, well" Jasper said

"Ok, is it true that you have a doll collection in your closet" Emmett said. Jasper looked horrified.

"What, no where did you hear that" Jasper said

"Well I hear you talking and you calling out names, so I thought he must be playing with dolls" Emmett said

"Believe me, I was not playing with dolls" Jasper said

"Oh ugh, did you have to think it" Edward said

"I don't get it" Emmett said. Rosalie patted his knee.

"I'll tell you when you get older" She said. He just nodded. Ok.

"Back to the game please" Alice said

"Ok, my turn to ask" Jasper said. He looked around the circle and then pointed to Edward.

"Truth or Dare, my brother" He asked

"My brother, really Jasper. It sounds like something Emmett would say" Edward said.

"Hey" Emmett said

"Come on people stick to the game" Alice said once again

"Alright, um dare" Edward said. He turned his head and winked at me.

"Hmm, you have to stand on the street with food, and ask everyone who goes by if they want one, and you have to let Alice dress you" Jasper said

"Are you kidding" Edward said

"No his not, come on" Alice said and dragged him upstairs.

How did you come up with that" I asked Jasper

He shrugged his shoulders.

10 minutes later

We were all in Emmett's Jeep watching Edward who was on the street, with donuts. Every time someone would walk past, he would ask 'do you want one', and they would keep walking. Some old lady even hit him with her shopping bag.

EPOV

No one wants a donut. I ask and ask and no one wants. A girl about 18 walked past.

"Hey do you want a donut" I asked

"Um, no thanks, but I'll have you" she said and started to walk towards me.

"Sorry I'm taken" I said and moved down a bit. She got the idea and walked away. Another girl walked by.

I asked again "Do you want a donut" her reply was the same as last "No but I'll have you". I walked away.

Next a guy comes, finally a dude. He stopped walking, turned and walked over to me. Oh god

"Hey good looking" He said

"Um hi, do you want a donut" I asked

"No, but I will definitely have you, you want to go out good looking" he said. Why do people keep asking me out?

"Sorry taken" I said and started to walk back to the jeep. I heard a flash, it sounded like someone just took a picture.

The guy yelled out "NO, DARLING THOSE PANTS DO NOT MAKE YOU ASS LOOK BIG" I dropped the donuts and ran. When I got back everyone was laughing.

"Ha ha, did you realise he took a photo of your butt" Jasper said

"Everyone kept asking me out" I said

"Ha ha, there's a reason for that" Rosalie said pointing to my outfit. I looked down at my t-shirt. It said 'Donut or me'.

"Alice" I said

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself, and you should see the back" she said

"It says 'does my butt look big in these pants" Bella said.

"Alice" I said again.

"Mark, darling, look what I got, a photo of some hot guys ass" the dude just ran past the car, with a camera in his hand. Running to another dude across the street. But he saw me and stopped, and came running back towards me. I got in the car.

"Go, go" I said to Emmett. And he drove away.

"That was priceless" Jasper said once we got home.

"Yer, whatever" I said, we all sat back down.

"Edward your turn" Alice said.

"Emmett, truth or dare" I said

"Dare, I'm not scared" he said

"I dare you to go put on your Hannah Montana costume, go to the shops, and sing one of her songs." I said

"You like Hannah Montana" Bella asked

"Who doesn't, I mean come onnnnn, who would have thought to have a double life, I minute you're normally, next you're famous" Emmett said

"Yer who would of thought" Rosalie said.

"Well, what are you waiting for, you have a dare to do" Alice said. Emmett jumped up and went up stairs. Couple minutes later, he comes back done, wearing a wig, dress, and heels. Everyone started laughing. He got to the bottom and did a pose.

"Lets go, my fans are waiting for me" he said. We all headed for the jeep. Once at the shopping centre, Alice gave Emmett a mica.

"It's my turn to shine" Emmett said, before music started to play.

_Oh yeah  
Come on_

You get the limo out front  
Hottest styles, every shoe, every colour

Yeah, when you're famous it can be kinda fun  
It's really you but no one ever discovers

In some ways you're just like all your friends  
But on stage you're a star

You get the best of both worlds  
Chill it out, take it slow  
Then you rock out the show

Emmett started to dance, swaying his hips, moving his hands.

_You get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds_

The best of both worlds

You go to movie premiers (is that Orlando Bloom?)  
Hear your songs on the radio  
Livin' two lives is a little weird (yeah)  
But school's cool cuz nobody knows

Yeah you get to be a small town girl  
But big time when you play your guitar

You get the best of both worlds  
Chillin' out take it slow  
Then you rock out the show

You get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both  
(You know the best) You know the best of both worlds

Pictures and autographs  
You get your face in all the magazines  
The best parts that you get to be who ever you wanna be

Yeah the best of both  
You get the best of both  
Come on best of both

Who would of thought that a girl like me  
Would double as a superstar

You get the best of both worlds  
Chillin' out, take it slow  
Then you rock out the show

You get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best,

You get the best of both worlds  
Without the shades and the hair  
You can go anywhere

You get the best of both girls  
Mix it all together  
Oh yeah  
It's so much better cuz you know you've got the best of both worlds

Everyone was laughing and clapping.

At the end, he bent over to do a bow. And the dress ripped, he quickly stood up, and walked backwards towards us.

"That was a good dress, Emmett" Alice said.

"Can we go please" he said. We all left, laughing our heads off.

Once we got back home, Emmett ran up stairs to change.

"Ok, my turn, and I pick Bella" Emmett said once he came back.

BPOV

Shit.

I was officially scared.

"...Dare"

Everybody looked at me, like I was crazy.

I am crazy

"I dare you to go to a club and get drunk, I really wanna see what you are like drunk"

"No way" Edward said

"A dare is a dare" Emmett said

He wants to see me get drunk. Out of everything to make me do, he picks that.

"Alright fine, let's go get drunk" I said

"And I have the perfect place" Emmett said

_Let's get drunk_

"Who names a club, let's get drunk" I asked

We were standing in front of the club, and the clubs name is let's get drunk.

"The dude was drunk when he named it" Emmett said

"Well I see where he got the name from" I said

We all walked in, and found a private area. Next thing I know there's 6 shot glasses in front of me.

"Drink up" Emmett said

Everyone was looking at me. I grabbed the first one and drank, it burned my throat, but I kept going to they were all gone.

"6 more" Emmett shouted to the bar tender. 3 minutes later, more shots appeared.

At the end I started to feel a bit weird

EPOV

Omg

My girlfriend is drunk

She's crazy when she's drunk

"Whooooooooo" she screamed

"I want a pony for Christmas" she was jumping up and down. She came over to me.

"Eddie, I want a pony, will you by me a pony, I really want a pony, can you get me one, can you, please, I really want one, no I need one, can you get me one" she said in one breathe. I looked over at Emmett and glared; he shrugged, grabbed Rosalie and went to the danefloor. I looked back at Bella, but she was gone. I looked around everywhere. Alice came over, and pointed over to a table where people were standing around; I walked over, and growled.

Bella was on the table, dancing. I pushed past everyone. Grabbed her, put her over my shoulder and left.

"Arrrhhhhhh, Edward what are you doing, I was dancing" she slurred

"Not anymore, we're going home" I said

"Dude, that was hell funny" Emmett said

"She could of got hurt" I said, I put Bella down, but she just fell over, I helped her to the car, got in the driver's side and left.

I got Bella out of the car, walked into the house and put her down. She was looking around. It looked like she was haunting for something.

"You know you left us there" Jasper said, coming into the with everyone else.

"What are you doing Bella" Emmett said. I looked over; she was crawling on the ground looking for something again.

"I'm hunting...for...chocolate" she said, sill crawling

"...Chocolate" Alice said

"I'll get you some" Jasper said. Before he could move to the kitchen, she was up and standing in front him.

"No you don't, the chocolate is mine...mine...mine...mineeeeee, grrrrr" she said and growled

"Umm ok" Jasper said walking backwards with his hands up.

"Now, where was I" she said.

Bang

She passed out. I picked her up bridal style and took her to my bedroom. I pulled the covers up, and left. In the morning she was going to have a massive hangover.

"Come on, you have to admit that was funny" Emmett said. I glared and walked away.

**Yay more words then normally I wanted to give u guys a long chapter, because it has taken me so long to update. Hope u haven't given up on me loll**

**Please read my other stories**

**And review tell me what u think, wat u want to see in the next chapter.**

**Kikitwilight **


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